Interview with Deb Miller

Hello Everyone,

We have something special for you all on Book Reviews by a Chick Who Reads Everything today. We have award-winning author Deb Miller on today. She is the author of the new book Forget the Fairy Tale and Find Your Happiness. You can see my interview with her down below.

Emily: Many books and articles have analyzed female empowerment through the Disney-Princess lens. What was the catalyst for using that framework for your memoir? 

My personal transformation felt like it unfolded in step with the cultural shift happening for women everywhere. The feminist movements of the ’70s and ’80s cracked the glass slipper ceiling, reshaping expectations around gender roles, sexual freedom, and career paths. These are big, complex themes—and I needed a storytelling framework that was both relatable and engaging.

Then I remembered Peggy Orenstein’s provocative New York Times piece, “What’s Wrong with Cinderella?”—and had an epiphany: what could be more universal than Disney?

As I wrote, the soundtrack of those iconic princess films played in my head. The evolution from Snow White to Moana became the perfect metaphor for how women’s roles—and my own—had transformed. Peggy and I have since connected, and I thank her in my book’s acknowledgments.

And yes, there’s even a timeline video that brings these parallel evolutions to life—on my website and TikTok. Worth a watch!

Emily: How did your family, including your ex-husbands, react to your book?

Deb: My mom was incredibly proud. She passed away peacefully a year ago at age 98, but she knew about the book and told everyone she knew—it was her final bragging right.

My oldest daughter, an English major, read various drafts over the years and offered thoughtful edits. My son, an attorney, took a more formal approach—he waited until it was “in writing” and was one of the first to receive an advance reader copy. And my youngest daughter is pure Gen Z: she approved select passages early on, then said she’d wait for the audiobook to digest the whole thing. (Good news—the audiobook just dropped!)

Both daughters work in marketing and have been wonderfully creative and involved. Hadley and I appeared on a mother/daughter podcast about the book, and Ally recorded a hilarious home tour video with me for TikTok, à la #73QuestionsWithVogue.

As for their dads? I left it up to the kids whether or not to give them a heads-up.

Emily: Who is your favorite Disney Princess and why?

Deb: My 5-year-old granddaughter, Bee, asked me this same question recently—and I told her my favorites are the three “M” princesses: Mulan, Merida, and Moana. They’re all strong, independent warrior princesses… like me.

But if I had to choose just one, it’s Merida from Brave. Partly because my family has deep Scottish roots—but mostly because of who brought her to life. Brenda Chapman sketched the character based on her own daughter, then wrote and directed the film, and won an Academy Award.

And here’s the full-circle moment: Brenda Chapman read Forget the Fairy Tale and Find Your Happiness this year, describing the book as “inspiring” and specifically highlighting my role as a mom. I’m still smiling about that.

Emily: In your opinion, why do some women feel compelled to live the traditional princess path? Why do they hold back from pursuing their own happiness?

Deb: For many of us, it starts with who we were raised to admire. In my case, my role model was my mom—a real-life June Cleaver. She was the perfect wife, the devoted homemaker, and she made it look effortless. From an early age, I was taught what a “proper young lady” should do, say, and want.

In the book, I actually share a series of “Lessons”—many of them passed down from my mom in flashbacks. Lesson #1? The Princess Path: be pretty, be polite, and wait for Prince Charming.

But as the story unfolds, the lessons begin to flip—this time coming from my kids, reflecting back what I had taught them, sometimes unknowingly. Thankfully, their lessons sounded more like: Be yourself. Be happy.

It’s not always easy to rewrite the script we were handed. But once you realize you can, it changes everything.

Emily: What is the best way to achieve happiness?

Deb: So many women spend decades doing for others—raising kids, caring for parents and partners, building careers, holding families together. We’re excellent at showing up for everyone else.

But at some point, the question shifts: What do I want now? What brings me joy?

To me, the key is defining happiness on your own terms. Not your mother’s. Not society’s. Yours. The real fairy tale isn’t about finding a prince—it’s to find yourself. And that’s a really happy ending.

Emily: At one point, you went through a divorce with your first husband while you had young children. How were you able to work and raise your kids?

Deb: I actually wrote a speech called “Pick Two” that explores this very topic—it’s featured in the book.

It definitely wasn’t easy being a warrior princess as a mostly single mom. But we made it work—and even found ways to have fun along the way. I brought my kids into my world whenever I could. I asked for their input on my marketing projects, and I included them in my travels. That exposure helped them see the bigger picture, and I think it shaped their worldview. All three had international internships while in college. Two have partners whose parents were from other countries. Two of my three kids even ended up in marketing themselves!

Emily: I was truly amazed by the amount of accomplishments that you had (i.e. being the vice president of several Fortune 500 companies). What was your greatest achievement?

Deb: That’s simple: my three kids.

Emily: What is the one thing that you want readers to take away?

Deb: The title says it all. If you can “Forget the Fairy Tale” then, you can “Find Your Happiness.” As one author said about the book, “It’s a modern-day fairy tale that will empower little girls for generations to come.”

Emily: I run the “Adapt Me Podcast,” where a guest and I talk about books that have never been adapted and how we would go about it. Who would you cast as your family?

Deb: I love this question—and I’m going to flip it a bit.

Rather than a movie or TV series, I imagine Forget the Fairy Tale and Find Your Happiness as a Broadway musical. But here’s the twist: the cast and script stay the same—what changes each week is the music and costumes.

One week, it’s performed with Disney princess songs. The next, it’s country hits, oldies, or Taylor Swift anthems. (I’ve got playlists for each chapter—some are on my website, and some I’m saving for book clubs.) One of my students even created a Taylor Swift version, explaining, “Taylor has a song for every situation—just like the scenes in your book!”

The goal? Audiences would come back again and again—because each version hits a different note.

Emily:  What are some projects that you are working on now?

Deb: Right now, I’m in the thick of some creative and unconventional book launch events. In Seattle, there’s a “Pub Day at the Pub”—combining books and beer—and we’re following it up with a “Theatrical Crossover” event at Barnes & Noble, where actresses will perform scenes from the book instead of a traditional author reading.

There are more stops ahead as I take the show on the road—plus podcast appearances and a couple of thought-provoking panels. One this fall rebrands memoir as “True Story”—a cousin to the popular True Crime genre…because who doesn’t love a true story, and we need the truth more than ever right now. Another panel, with fellow professors, explores the pursuit of happiness through the lens of science, storytelling, and self-discovery.

And when I’m not doing all that?
I’m home in my very own enchanted forest, where the landscaping projects are both endless and oddly therapeutic.

Emily: Where can people find you?

Deb: Everything about the book is labeled with the book name. 

Forgetthefairytale.NET 

@forget_the_fairy_tale on Instagram

Forgethefairytale on TikTok

Forget the Fairy Tale and Find Your Happiness by Deb Miller is out now. You can get it wherever you get your books.

Subscribe below to get notified when I post new updates. Also feel free to email me here for any review suggestions, ideas, or new titles!