Full disclosure: I was given a copy of this book by BooksForward in exchange for an honest review.
Christmas is coming soon, and that means more Nutcracker-related content! Last year, I reviewed The Kingdom of Sweets by Erika Johansen – a novel inspired by both the ballet and the book Nutcracker and the Mouse King by E.T.A. Hoffman. This year, I’ll take a look at The Nutcracker Chronicles: A Fairytale Memoir by Janine Kovac – a memoir written by a former ballet dancer who participated in numerous performances of The Nutcracker ballet. It’s a great book detailing the author’s struggles in the ballet world while recounting her relationship with the famous story.
The Nutcracker Chronicles: A Fairytale Memoir provides a modern twist on the classic holiday ballet, intertwining the story of Clara and the prince with the true-life story that unfolded backstage. Janine Kovac was seven years old when she knew that she wanted to be a ballerina while watching her first performance of The Nutcracker. It wasn’t long before she herself was dancing the part of a snowflake; flower; mouse; soldier; and Fritz, Clara’s brother. This was all in search of the magic she felt only on the stage. She recounts her pursuits of an elusive dream that compels her to endure blistered toes, weekly weigh-ins, second-hand pointe shoes, and constant insults from her directors like why can’t you just dance like a pretty girl?
Over a twelve-year career, Janine danced with ballet companies in San Francisco, Seattle, Germany, Iceland, and Italy, returning home every holiday season to perform The Nutcracker with Ballet El Paso. Despite the challenges of the ballet world, Janine couldn’t resist the inner glow and effortlessness she feels on stage, under the lights, dancing to Tchaikovsky. This is when she feels beautiful.
I talked about my previous experiences with The Nutcracker ballet in my The Kingdom of Sweets review, so this memoir was right up my alley. For starters, the structure is inventive. It’s basically the ballet, but with Kovac’s personal story woven in it. Each chapter is a scene from the show, and she talks about her life and how it pertains to that particular part of the ballet. For example, in the chapter title “Chinese,” Kovac describes what her life was like during the initial Covid lockdown and how she – a Latina – dealt with the problematic elements of the ballet like the Chinese dance. The way that she weaves her story into the tale is effortless.
Kovac also paints a brutally realistic picture of what it’s like to be a professional ballet dancer. Throughout the memoir, she discusses how she struggled to make sure her appearance and weight were in line with what a ballerina should look like, especially as one with brown skin and just a few pounds heavier than what’s required. She also had to perform the precise steps at the right time all while being graceful. This was a challenge for her as well since she had coordination issues like always dancing to the left while the rest of the group moved to the right. I love to dance, but even I wouldn’t want to do it professionally.
On top of that, she had to withstand insults hurled at her and other dancers by instructors, especially Ms. Heuser – the director of the El Paso Ballet Theatre at that time. Ms. Heuser had a reputation, for stories like how she danced for Hilter in Germany circulated. It’s easy to portray someone like Ms. Heuser as evil as the Mouse King, but Kovac doesn’t go that route. Her relationship with her instructor is far more complicated. Despite the insults she threw, Ms. Heuser also gave Kovac opportunities to dance in The Nutcracker and would always be there to pin the wigs just right. She even bestowed Kovac a bouquet of flowers at one point as a way of apologizing for not allowing her to dance in the “Waltz of the Flowers” scene.
The best part of this memoir is Janine herself. Readers can easily sympathize with her as she navigated the ballet world. She made friends and relationships, including the Prince Charming whom she would marry, but she also went through ordeals like the ones I mentioned earlier. This will make readers ask, “Why did she stay around even if she wasn’t getting the good roles?”
Janine has an answer for that: the power of the stage. Throughout the book, Kovac mentions how yearned to dance on the stage because that’s where she shines and feels the most beautiful. It didn’t matter if she’s playing Fritz, a soldier, a clown, a Dunce Flower (the name of one of the positions during the “Waltz of the Flowers” scene), etc. She wanted to perform, even when she was sort of living vicariously through her dancer husband and kids later on. I certainly felt that hunger as I read the memoir as I recalled the times when I was on the stage. It also didn’t matter if I didn’t know the kinds of moves that Janine had to execute as a ballet dancer. The point was that they were hard and required precision, elegance, and grace – things that she had to work on. And still, she wanted to do it to let her beauty shine.
The Nutcracker Chronicles: A Fairytale Memoir by Janine Kovac is a wonderful book to read during the holidays. This is especially true if one is going to see or be in a production of The Nutcracker. Janine is relatable as she yearns to be a ballet dancer, but she has a hard time making it in that world. Her conflicts, including the one with Ms. Heuser, are handled realistically and emphatically. While the ballet environment is portrayed in a brutally honest manner, Kovac still manages to maintain a sense of wonder as she hungers to be on the stage. In addition, the structure is unique with Janine’s story mirroring that of the one in The Nutcracker. Along with the audience I mentioned above, I would also recommend it to those who love to read about ballet or dance in general, who are current or former dancers, or anyone who loves consuming all Nutcracker-related stories. The Nutcracker Chronicles: A Fairytale Memoir is out now, so go grab it wherever you get your books.
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