Reparenting Myself: A Memoir to My Daughters on Growing Up, Getting it Wrong, and Giving My Best Book Review

Full disclosure: I was given a free advance reader copy of this book by the author in exchange for an honest review.

Some books come along at a time when I need them the most. Today’s subject Reparenting Myself: A Memoir to My Daughters on Growing Up, Getting it Wrong, and Giving My Best by Anony Mom, MD (yep, that’s the pseudonym) was one such title. Mother’s Day is coming up, and I’ve been reflecting on my relationship with my own mom. As a daughter, the memoir gave me plenty to chew on while being funny and sincere.

Reparenting Myself: A Memoir to My Daughters on Growing Up, Getting it Wrong, and Giving My Best is a collection of journal entries illuminating the joy, uncertainty, and complexities of modern motherhood. Anony Mom dissects her flaws and strengths, the challenges of raising good humans, the importance of authenticity and self love, and the healing nature of parenting through cautionary tales and unexpected inspirations. Above all, this memoir is a love letter to her two daughters, an apology for any parenting mistakes, and a declaration of hope for their futures.

While imparting advice to one’s child is usually treated in a serious manner, Anony Mom brings humor to these journal entries through self depreciation. Throughout the memoir, she acknowledges her faults like people pleasing (she herself identifies as a “recovering people pleaser”), stubborn, and overexplaining. She desperately tries to not do the last part while giving advice to her 6- and 8-year-old daughters in a 249-page book. Luckily, she always has a clear point of why she says something in the first place. 

Even though she can crack jokes every now and then, Anony Mom is always sincere. She recalls being a child of divorced parents, which resulted in her need to please others to make it easier for them. People often thought that she was a happy person, which led to her getting validation from the outside instead of the inside. Sadly, it stunted her development of recognizing other emotions besides happiness and anger. In addition, she speaks about her estrangement with her older sister with pure honesty. She believes that this too seemed from the divorce, in which their mother treated her sister as more of a friend than a daughter while she was received as “protected baby” of the family (p. 14). At the same time, Anony Mom admits that she wants to have a closer relationship with her sister, but she recognizes that she needs to keep her distance if her sister doesn’t respond to her texts. This is one thing that she wants her daughters to have: a closer sibling bond than she ever did with hers.

Even though I’m not a parent, Anony Mom still gave me a lot to appreciate, especially with Mother’s Day coming up. For instance, she admits that while her mother wasn’t perfect, she recognizes that her parents gave her everything to love and nurture her. She wanted to do the same thing for her three kids as a married full-time doctor, but she eventually realized that she couldn’t do that. As a result, she decided to go part-time. Moreover, she wholeheartedly believes in karma, which she defines as “finding peace in the belief that justice will prevail and that the arch of the universe is towards fairness” (p. 229).

She recounts that when she was younger, if people wronged her in some way, she felt the need to get even with them. Eventually, she realized that they weren’t after her and that she can only control her actions. That’s why she loves the concept of karma as well as the awesome song by Taylor Swift (side note: part of me wants to know how she feels about The Tortured Poets Department album). 

Finally, she gives some wonderful advice to her daughters (another side note: she has a son, but she has some specific tips for him for another day). I won’t list all of them here (one will have to read the memoir to find that out), yet I’ll give part of her mantra for living life. These include being kind, a team player, joyful, ethical, and resilient. My favorite one is being yourself, which she defines as “know who you are; believe in yourself; love yourself and other[s] unconditionally.” (p. 241). 

I love how that actually defines what it means to be yourself.

Reparenting Myself: A Memoir to My Daughters on Growing Up, Getting it Wrong, and Giving My Best by Anony Mom, MD is a great memoir about a mother imparting advice for her daughters. The author is clearly aware of her strengths and weaknesses and is genuinely interested in ensuring that her children, especially her daughters, lead the best lives they can possibly have. And, she does this while being humorous and honest. It’s highly entertaining and impactful. While it’s not for everybody, I would definitely recommend it to mothers and daughters over the age of 13 (Anony Mom discusses sex at one point). The memoir is out now, so if you’re in the mood to read Mother’s Day-related stories this year, make sure to pick this one up. 

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